Long Day!!

It's 10:30 and it feels like this day has been two days long. Again, no breakfast. I did eat a healthy lunch though and a so so dinner of rotisserie chicken and vegetables. I'm really tired of thinking about it. I want to get up and cook and eat like normal, not well, how many calories is this, how much fat is this. It takes a lot of money to clean your cabinets out of processed foods and such. I am replacing it with healthier foods when I go to the store. I need to buy whole wheat flour, grains, and more vegetables. Really I should have a generic list of things I should buy and have weekly, like fruit, vegetables, and such. I think another change that would help me tremendously is my sleeping habits. I stay up WAY too late, but with school and the extremely hard classes, I am studying constantly. I didn't even take summer off, went straight through. Like for instance, I have 7 chapters due and a 5 page report in ONE class in 4 days and we were only given the assignment yesterday. I can handle it, but the staying up late isn't helping my appetite. I find that I am still up 8 to 9 hours minimum after eating supper. My body thinks it's time for another meal. If I could get into the habit of going to  bed around 11:00 at the latest, then I wouldn't have to deal with hunger pains and would benefit from getting much needed sleep. This is new and isn't new to me. I know enough to make it work, but MAKING it work is the problem. I found out yesterday in class that next quarter would be intense. I want to lose and really work on my excersise regiment so I can be in tip top shape. I can do this, no one but me can do this and I will be victorious! Good night..'til tomorrow..

3rd day to the....

Ok, I know for a fact I'm going to get sick and tired of counting down the number of days I've been on this die..whoops. change of lifestyle! : ) I vowed not to use the 'd' word, and dang it I'm gonna stay true to my word. I did ok yesterday, still not in the routine of eating 5 or 6 small meals a day. I'm lucky to get 2 in. The night before I made eggplant lasagna. I used the eggplant in place of the noodles. How easy was that? Better yet, how yummy was it? It was good!! I made my own marinara sauce so I could control what went in it. Add a little low fat cheese and some italian seasonings. I had it again yesterday for lunch with a small salad. Being that I didn't get my bread fix yesterday, I took light white bread and had a hamburger with it. Nothing else, no fries, nothing, and drank water. Water is great! I can drink it all day long. Some people have issues with drinking it, they have to flavor it with those little powdered drink mixes. I stay away from asparthame and any other 'fake' sugar. I'll take the real stuff and use it sparingly thank you. I do however LOVE sweet n low. I guess because I was raised on the stuff it tastes better to me than splenda. I haven't tried stevia or any other guava or whatever they call it. It's not that I won't, but I have a budget I have to keep to and the 'fake' sugar seems way over priced to me. My daughter loves hot tea. She makes it at least every other night. I started to realize something after I drank it, it filled me up and satisfied me. So if I get the notion to snack around late at night I instead boil me some green tea, jasmine tea or whatever we have at the moment. It also makes me relax and I end up going to bed earlier than I have been. I saw on TV the other day a product called Fullbar, I believe that's the name of it. You eat this bar and a glass of water 30 mins to an hour before eating your meal and it helps you feel full so you don't over eat. It's been around a couple of years and seems to have a pretty good following, but alas, like every other weight loss product out there, it costs a fortune! I will be going to my first weight watchers meeting tomorrow night. It's a free week, so we'll see how it goes. I need motivation and friends who are in the same boat I am. Wish me luck on that endeavor! I will sign off for now. I have tons of homework for my med class and a 5 page report. ick! Till next time...

The second day of the rest of my life.

Battling my thoughts is tiresome, just down right aggravating. I decided my mind was in the right place for a change in my lifestyle, (notice I didn’t use the dreaded nasty four letter‘D’ word) I know I have to lose weight for many reasons, most important reason is for my health. My dad and uncle are both diabetic and those words “You’re test's came back and you are diabetic,” scare the hell out of me! But has it really scared me enough? Why haven’t I lost weight, why haven’t I taken it more serious? Do we really have to be ready to make a change, mentally? My mind will say, “HEY, YOU CAN DO THIS TODAY!” I will make a list from the on going pile of lose weight books, such as Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Biggest Loser, Eat this not that. I have every tool to succeed! I then look at my grocery list and think, man I’ll have to get a loan from the bank to start a diet! A couple of days go by and I’m good. I’m eating when I’m supposed to eat and what I’m supposed to be eating. I’ve never been one to go back for seconds much, why? Because I over fill my plate up the first time. So a little trick I use, is to cook only for 3 people, my husband, my daughter and myself. If what I am making says it serves 5 or 6, I cut back! This helps with food costs as well. I know, I know, there are those out there that say, well freeze it for the next time or use it for lunch the next day. Let me tell you something, when a druggie has easy access to his favorite drug, do you think he’s going to say, “well I’ll just leave that until tomorrow or maybe even next week? No, that doesn’t happen! If that food is on the stove, that food will be eaten. Portion control! I really believe it’s about portion control. A huge problem of mine is this concept of eating 5 to 6 times a day. Now, for an overweight chick you would think these would be the words from heaven, ain’t so! I’m not a breakfast eater. My breakfast is normally enjoyed when cooked at night. I don’t want to eat anything in the mornings. My first meal is normally lunch time, no snack, then supper, sometimes popcorn or other snack before bed. On paper you would think I’d be losing weight just from the lack of times I am eating. I was told a few years back in a weight loss meeting , that you HAVE to eat and eat enough calories. What?How confusing. I’m supposed to cut back, yet I need to eat to lose weight. Oh don’t get me wrong, I like that concept I really do, but I guess it’s getting into a new routine that tires me. So, to answer the question from before, does it take being in the right mindset to start eating right and change your eating lifestyle? Apparently you do. Why for two days I’m all gung ho but the third day and days after that I am falling back into the rut I was in. No breakfast, late lunch, early dinner and snack. I hardly drink cola’s any more, big plus for many reasons. Bread is my enemy. I could bathe in bread if I could. I like whole grains, white, any and all types. Maybe if I follow a plan that doesn’t cut all the foods I love out and just cuts back on them. Then it wouldn’t be such a shock to my system, really not system, it’s my mind. My mind says, “YOU HAVEN’T HAD BREAD TODAY!” So I go rummaging through the cabinet to see what I have. It all boils down to just doing it. I started smoking in my 30’s, don’t ask me why. I smoked more than a pack a day for over 2 years. I loved it. I craved it! My husband and I ended up having the flu through Christmas one year. After it was all over my husband threw his out! As for me, I was on the front porch smoking one after another. Then one day it hit me. Why would I risk my lungs and my life for this stupid and expensive habit? That was it. I quit right then and haven’t smoked since. Now mind you, I can smell one being lit up and think OMG I want one! But my willpower is strong, at least when it comes to smoking. Why can’t I do that with eating? Like I said, it’s not like I eat all day, I don’t. I eat one hamburger, one hot dog, one of anything except pizza, I might eat 2 slices. So come on! What gives? I say good luck to any and all that fights these demons on a daily, heck, on an hourly basis. I feel for you! Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life, today is the second! Lord help me get through the third, fourth and so on.