The second day of the rest of my life.

Battling my thoughts is tiresome, just down right aggravating. I decided my mind was in the right place for a change in my lifestyle, (notice I didn’t use the dreaded nasty four letter‘D’ word) I know I have to lose weight for many reasons, most important reason is for my health. My dad and uncle are both diabetic and those words “You’re test's came back and you are diabetic,” scare the hell out of me! But has it really scared me enough? Why haven’t I lost weight, why haven’t I taken it more serious? Do we really have to be ready to make a change, mentally? My mind will say, “HEY, YOU CAN DO THIS TODAY!” I will make a list from the on going pile of lose weight books, such as Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, Biggest Loser, Eat this not that. I have every tool to succeed! I then look at my grocery list and think, man I’ll have to get a loan from the bank to start a diet! A couple of days go by and I’m good. I’m eating when I’m supposed to eat and what I’m supposed to be eating. I’ve never been one to go back for seconds much, why? Because I over fill my plate up the first time. So a little trick I use, is to cook only for 3 people, my husband, my daughter and myself. If what I am making says it serves 5 or 6, I cut back! This helps with food costs as well. I know, I know, there are those out there that say, well freeze it for the next time or use it for lunch the next day. Let me tell you something, when a druggie has easy access to his favorite drug, do you think he’s going to say, “well I’ll just leave that until tomorrow or maybe even next week? No, that doesn’t happen! If that food is on the stove, that food will be eaten. Portion control! I really believe it’s about portion control. A huge problem of mine is this concept of eating 5 to 6 times a day. Now, for an overweight chick you would think these would be the words from heaven, ain’t so! I’m not a breakfast eater. My breakfast is normally enjoyed when cooked at night. I don’t want to eat anything in the mornings. My first meal is normally lunch time, no snack, then supper, sometimes popcorn or other snack before bed. On paper you would think I’d be losing weight just from the lack of times I am eating. I was told a few years back in a weight loss meeting , that you HAVE to eat and eat enough calories. What?How confusing. I’m supposed to cut back, yet I need to eat to lose weight. Oh don’t get me wrong, I like that concept I really do, but I guess it’s getting into a new routine that tires me. So, to answer the question from before, does it take being in the right mindset to start eating right and change your eating lifestyle? Apparently you do. Why for two days I’m all gung ho but the third day and days after that I am falling back into the rut I was in. No breakfast, late lunch, early dinner and snack. I hardly drink cola’s any more, big plus for many reasons. Bread is my enemy. I could bathe in bread if I could. I like whole grains, white, any and all types. Maybe if I follow a plan that doesn’t cut all the foods I love out and just cuts back on them. Then it wouldn’t be such a shock to my system, really not system, it’s my mind. My mind says, “YOU HAVEN’T HAD BREAD TODAY!” So I go rummaging through the cabinet to see what I have. It all boils down to just doing it. I started smoking in my 30’s, don’t ask me why. I smoked more than a pack a day for over 2 years. I loved it. I craved it! My husband and I ended up having the flu through Christmas one year. After it was all over my husband threw his out! As for me, I was on the front porch smoking one after another. Then one day it hit me. Why would I risk my lungs and my life for this stupid and expensive habit? That was it. I quit right then and haven’t smoked since. Now mind you, I can smell one being lit up and think OMG I want one! But my willpower is strong, at least when it comes to smoking. Why can’t I do that with eating? Like I said, it’s not like I eat all day, I don’t. I eat one hamburger, one hot dog, one of anything except pizza, I might eat 2 slices. So come on! What gives? I say good luck to any and all that fights these demons on a daily, heck, on an hourly basis. I feel for you! Yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life, today is the second! Lord help me get through the third, fourth and so on.